HELP! I need HELP!

I should have known. My person came out to the barn this morning and spent an inordinate amount of time fussing with me. She clipped my bridle path, worked on my coat with the shedding blade and generally had me looking presentable.

THEN, instead of turning me back out so I could undo all of that work by rolling in the manure laden mud, she kept me in! What's with that?

Later on I heard a truck sound. When I looked out the window there was a huge horse trailer parked on the road at the end of our lane. Uh huh. Something's up!

Sure enough, I heard her talking to another person and the next thing I knew, my halter was on and I was taking the long walk down the lane. The other person opened the door to the cavern and the existing inmate screamed at me; "Run, run for your life! This can has wheels!"

Too late, I'd already stepped in and before I could think twice, my person tied me to the wall - and left me, shutting the door behind her. Where am I going now? Please tell me we're not moving back to Calgary. I can't face another 4000 mile ride. She said something about "boot camp". What's that?

If I survive this adventure - I'll keep y'all posted. If not - it's been fun ........

Mother Nature's cruel joke

This day is a cruel joke. After two gorgeous warm spring-like days on the week-end, overnight we reverted to pouring rain and wind. Now, the snow has begun in earnest and the wind is from the NE meaning lots of that white stuff - and the river is rising.

Hmm - where did my person put that ark, anyway?

Spring - hah!

It is, allegedly, spring. The calendar says so. In my world that means "swamp season". Glorious mud to roll in, deep footprints to create in the earth - ah, heaven.

The river is open and, with last night's rain combined with the previous two warm and sunny days, it's running high and hard. The beginning of the annual spring flood is mere millimeters away.

The ducks are back, flying around quacking looking for some place to land and maybe build a nest. There's other wildlife frequenting our little corner of paradise too - an errant moose who apparently doesn't realize he's on the doorstep of civilization, and a hungry bear raiding the nearby butcher (shudder - THAT's another story) shop's offal bin. Luckily neither has ventured through the electric tape fencing protecting me from the marauders.

Grey skies and rain - a good day to hang out in the barn and watch the world float by.

Some privacy, please!

It's been a long, cold winter and, as a result, my personal attendant (a.k.a. "owner") has been somewhat less than diligent about performing certain somewhat repugnant tasks on my behalf (gently cleaning my sheath). Since I'm what is referred to as a "dirty boy", this really needs to be done fairly frequently

She CLAIMS she didn't do it because the temperatures were too cold and the water kept freezing. Personally I think she was avoiding it. Period.

Anyway, last week I blew up like a balloon. I looked like a well endowed stallion, not the gelding I really am. Panic ensued. THEN she tried to clean things up but it was impossible with the swelling. Hah! Fixed her! This required a call to the vet who performed the necessary duties.

Of course, I was completely discombobulated with the various medications they gave me - staggering like a drunken sailor on the first Sat. night in port after months at sea. Talk about taking a trip without leaving the farm. Whoooeee! Who cared what they did to my personal parts? Stick needles in my neck? No problemo! Dude!

It's been several days now and the swelling is slowly receding. So much for my manly appearance! Hmmm.

Heard a nasty rumour

I heard that my person actually has PLANS for me this year. Did she ask me? I think not.

Apparently I'm going to boot camp for a month to 'refresh' my skills. She wants a trainer to remind me why I should be well behaved when my person wants to ride me. Really? In her dreams! Just because she has brittle bones, why does that mean that I shouldn't buck when I feel like it? Hmm.

I tried to weasel out of this by developing a badly swollen sheath. But the vet came and fixed the problem. Darn. He also gave me all my shots so I won't catch anything from the horses at boot camp barn. So much for pretending to be sick to get out of going to school. I'm still thinking about other dodges I might pull. Any suggestions?