Spring - hah!

It is, allegedly, spring. The calendar says so. In my world that means "swamp season". Glorious mud to roll in, deep footprints to create in the earth - ah, heaven.

The river is open and, with last night's rain combined with the previous two warm and sunny days, it's running high and hard. The beginning of the annual spring flood is mere millimeters away.

The ducks are back, flying around quacking looking for some place to land and maybe build a nest. There's other wildlife frequenting our little corner of paradise too - an errant moose who apparently doesn't realize he's on the doorstep of civilization, and a hungry bear raiding the nearby butcher (shudder - THAT's another story) shop's offal bin. Luckily neither has ventured through the electric tape fencing protecting me from the marauders.

Grey skies and rain - a good day to hang out in the barn and watch the world float by.

Some privacy, please!

It's been a long, cold winter and, as a result, my personal attendant (a.k.a. "owner") has been somewhat less than diligent about performing certain somewhat repugnant tasks on my behalf (gently cleaning my sheath). Since I'm what is referred to as a "dirty boy", this really needs to be done fairly frequently

She CLAIMS she didn't do it because the temperatures were too cold and the water kept freezing. Personally I think she was avoiding it. Period.

Anyway, last week I blew up like a balloon. I looked like a well endowed stallion, not the gelding I really am. Panic ensued. THEN she tried to clean things up but it was impossible with the swelling. Hah! Fixed her! This required a call to the vet who performed the necessary duties.

Of course, I was completely discombobulated with the various medications they gave me - staggering like a drunken sailor on the first Sat. night in port after months at sea. Talk about taking a trip without leaving the farm. Whoooeee! Who cared what they did to my personal parts? Stick needles in my neck? No problemo! Dude!

It's been several days now and the swelling is slowly receding. So much for my manly appearance! Hmmm.

Heard a nasty rumour

I heard that my person actually has PLANS for me this year. Did she ask me? I think not.

Apparently I'm going to boot camp for a month to 'refresh' my skills. She wants a trainer to remind me why I should be well behaved when my person wants to ride me. Really? In her dreams! Just because she has brittle bones, why does that mean that I shouldn't buck when I feel like it? Hmm.

I tried to weasel out of this by developing a badly swollen sheath. But the vet came and fixed the problem. Darn. He also gave me all my shots so I won't catch anything from the horses at boot camp barn. So much for pretending to be sick to get out of going to school. I'm still thinking about other dodges I might pull. Any suggestions?

It's been a while...

After four years as a part-time freelance writer / photographer and more-than-part-time property manager, my person has FINALLY come to her senses. From here on out she's focusing her efforts on her freelance business and the critters in her life - the Queen (house cat), the Supervisor (barn cat), the Pest (new puppy) and, of course, ME! 

Since winter is rapidly approaching, I'm probably safe for a few months from her efforts to re-train and ride me. I'll be able to continue my relaxing lifestyle as a pasture potato - well fed, groomed and generally pampered - in return for which all I have to do is feign interest when she comes to visit or wants to show me off to her friends, colleagues and clients.

Maybe now she'll also have more time to add my comments to this blog on a more regular basis!

People are slow on the up-take

I've been telling my person for AGES that my back aches. I've been walking with a short stride, hollowing my back and showing a distinct "hitch in my git-a-long". But, could she figure it out? No.

So, I tried bucking like crazy when I was on the lunge line - which only resulted in more work for me. Then I tried bucking when my person was on my back. Ha! She's not that strong and ended up in the dirt several times.

Finally, she sent me to a trainer who recommended a chiropractor. If you haven't had this done you have NO idea what you've missed. I nearly fell asleep while he manipulated every bone in my body. The cracking noise was a little unnerving - for me and my person - but the results were fantastic.

My person said that she hadn't seen my back so round or my stride so long in YEARS! I'm sold.